Sharknado - Phil's Five Words for Films

Sharknado Sometimes a film can be so ridiculously ludicrous that it just grabs you by the funny bone and it transcends all logic and defies all the usual rules. Sharknado is definitely one of those films. A super storm heads towards the west coast of America, pulling sharks from the ocean and dumping thousands of them on the unprepared citizens of coastal L.A. Every part of the film is awful. The premise, the script, the editing, the acting, the special effects, the science, the physics and even the laws of gravity are all terrible, so terrible that they are laughable. Therein lies the unintended brilliance. At no point

Now You See Me - Phil's Five Words for Films

Now You See Me A triumph of spectacle over substance, this film is as hyperactive as it is over- ambitious. There's lots going on and plenty of star attractions to keep you watching but ultimately, too much time is spent trying to be cool and not enough trying to be credible. Watching the film requires a willing suspension of disbelief far beyond the acceptable for a serious film and even then, it falls a little flat at the overblown finale. Starring Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson,  Mark Ruffalo, Morgan Free

Saving Mr Banks - Phil's Five Words for Films

Saving Mr Banks Nothing wonderful ever comes easily and certainly not when you are trying to create a classic Disney film. Emma Thompson and Tom Hanks are both brilliant as they wrestle and haggle over the storytelling rights and the creative process involved in the making of 'Mary Poppins'. Thompson plays P.L Travers, the creator of the practically perfect nanny and she nails the part, giving the writer just enough warmth to balance her cynical hard edge. Tom Hanks plays Walt Disney, dogged in his pursuit of the permission to make the movie his way. The two meet in L.A in 1961 to discuss the production and Travers' remains unmoved

The Bling Ring - Phil's Five Words for Film

The Bling Ring A bunch of vacuous, spoilt, rich, celebrity-obsessed losers get robbed by a bunch of their equals. End of story. There is very little to recommend with this film, written and directed by Sophia Coppola and based on real events. The plot is paper-thin and the characters are so superficial that it is difficult to sympathise with either the stupid perpetrators or their stupid victims. Who leaves a key to a million dollar mansion under a doormat? People like Paris Hilton. People who don't miss the 'bling' property that they probably didn't know they owned. These people stole millions before anyone noticed. It is a sad reflection on people in society who know the price of everything

The Impossible - Phil's Five Words for Films

The Impossible This is the story of a young family in Thailand caught in the destruction and the aftermath of the Indian Ocean tsunami of 2004 whilst on holiday. With some great scenery and good acting, it is a well made and impressive film. The tsunami is recreated using models rather than CGI and this works really well, adding a realism to the opening scenes that really stays with you. The injuries, chaos and story are all high impact and the characters develop well which makes you really care about their plight. Ewan McGregor

The Place Beyond the Pines - Phil's Five Words for Films

The Place Beyond the Pines As far as I am concerned, there are two main problems with this story of how events can effect people and even be passed on to future generations. Firstly, there is the linear storyline that is split in to three distinct parts. The first ( and the best by some distance ) follows Luke ( Ryan Gosling ), a motorcycle stunt rider who turns to a life of crime after discovering that he is a father. Just as the story and characters are becoming interesting, the film switches focus and pace, moving on to a police officer ( Bradley Cooper ) who stumbles upon Luke's activities. From here on in, we sit through a standard police corruption scenario before, once again, the film changes tack. The third act follows two ( annoying ) teenage boys caught up in the ongoing chain of events and trying to avoid the consequences. Although there are some great performances, ( Eva Mendes, Ben Mendelson, Gosling and Cooper are

Gangster Squad - Phil's Five Words for Films

Gangster Squad  With a whole host of big names directed by Ruben Fleischer ( Zombieland ) I was expecting a lot more from Gangster Squad than I got. Set in 1949 Los Angeles and loosely based on some real events,  Sean Penn plays Mickey Cohen, a gang leader intent on controlling every aspect of the criminal underworld in LA. Josh Brolin plays a police sergeant given the job of forming an elite squad and running him in to the ground.  Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone are supposed to add a bit of romantic intrigue but the whole thing is just lacking any real zing. There is an overall shine to the look of the film and it doesn't quite fit with the script or storyline, making it feel more like 'Dick Tracy' than

Insidious - Phils Five Words for Films

Insidious Very much a film of three halves, this creepy, ghost train of a movie is silly, scary and amusing. It goes from being a tense haunted house film, to a daft exorcism film and ends up in a phantasmagorical romp through a spirit world. It does, however, have some genuinely chilling moments and these are nicely balanced by some comedy characters that fit perfectly into the 'non-too-serious-horror' genre. Patrick Wilson and Rose Byrne, play the parents of a young family who have to do battle with all manor of netherworld demons to bring back their son ( Ty Simpkins ) after he slips in to a coma. Although the last section

The Conjuring - Phil's Five Words for Films

The Conjuring - Instructions: Take a pinch of 'Amityville', a cup full of 'The Exorcist', a sprinkling of 'Paranormal Activity' and some small pieces of 'The Orphanage'. Add in a some Hitchcock and claim that it is all 'Based on real events'. Give the whole thing to 'Insidious' director, James Wan to see what he makes with it. The result is a well made, slow-burner of a movie that has some good acting and a couple of good scares that manage to deliver moments of spine tingles. Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga play Ed and Lorraine Warren, a ghost-hunting couple called in to help the parents of five children who have a problem with things going bump in the night. The Warrens' were also the investigators in the classic 'Amityville' case that spawned sequels and remakes. There are many good performances, most notably Lili Taylor as the haunted mother and a couple of the younger actors also stand out. Having seen many-a horror

The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Phil's Five Words for Films

The Perks of Being a Wallflower Based on a novel and a screenplay by the director Stephen Chbosky, this angsty-teen drama has some good performances which help raise it above many 'coming of age' genre pieces. Set in a small American town in the early 1990s where popularity, proms and mix-tapes are more important than anything else that has ever happened, it follows a group of school kids as they struggle through their senior years. It is predominantly a film about belonging, friendship and dealing with life and death as a teenager and it will no doubt strike an emotional chord with many people that grew up during that period. Logan Lerman plays Charlie, a painfully

End of Watch - Phil's Five Words for Films

End of Watch Starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Peña as LAPD officers who work in South Central Los Angeles, End of Watch sets out to be a realistic fake-umentary about the lives and perils of a serving officer. For me however, it is nothing more than one of the most disappointing, depressing and over-rated films of recent times. The hand held camera POV device starts out as an interesting, if not-too-original, idea but soon becomes annoying and is used almost as an afterthought throughout the majority of the film. The dialogue is firmly rooted in the 'fu#*ing bro dude whatever' style and irritates more than it entertains. The representation of police work in parts of LA may well be gritty and hard edged but it also represents everything that is nasty and pathetically evil about modern societies – guns, drugs, gangs, ghettos and a lack of

Django Unchained - Phil's Five Words for Films

Django Unchained  Totally Tarantino. His take on the slave trade within pre-civil war America is awash with the director's outlandish style, machine gun banter and his obvious love of pulp cinema and spaghetti westerns. As with 'Inglorious Basterds', the controversial setting is designed to give Tarantino a cause to get his teeth in to and to allow him to head towards the ultimate, revenge bloodbath.  The first third of the film is gloriously absorbing and sets up an interesting cross-country manhunt and rescue mission as a bounty hunter teams up with a freed slave to track down some wanted men.  There are great performances from all concerned, Jamie Foxx, Leonardo Di Caprio, Samuel L Jackson and Kerry Washington all seem to revel in their roles of caricature and controversy but it is another brilliant performance by

Paranormal Activity 4 - Phil's Five Words for Films

Paranormal Activity 4  The Law of  Diminishing Sequels is very much in evidence with the P.A franchise and the fourth film in the series does nothing to halt their slide in to the pit of sequel oblivion.  Directed once again by Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman ( Catfish & PA3 ) there are some new, interesting characters but very little in the way of scares or horror.  Following on from the events of PA2 , the 'action' centres around Hunter, a missing child from the second film, who is forced to stay with the family across the road after his mother is taken in to hospital.  Once in the house, strange things start to happen and the new family find themselves being stalked by supernatural forces.  Most of the footage

Hanna - Phil's Five Words for Films

Hanna  For me, Hanna is such a wasted opportunity.  With some strong characters, a good opening and a nice central idea, it could have placed itself alongside films like the Bourne trilogy but was slowly pulled in too many directions and eventually felt messy and insubstantial.  It almost talked itself out of a sequel.  Trained to kill by her ex-CIA father ( Eric Banner ) whilst in hiding, Hanna ( Saoirse Ronan ) is a deadly 16 year old, ready to take on the world and the people that hunt her family ( Cate Blanchett ).  It is a violent fairytale that should have exploded on to the screen but unfortunately, everything about the film seemed a little misjudged. Without really knowing why or thinking about it for a second, Hanna has to press a button to alert her enemies to her location, starting an unnecessary game of cat and mouse.  Surely she was better off being below the radar?  The levels of violence were not really suitable for a 12 certificate audience but stopped short of giving the film any real edge or bite. The involvement of a family in a camper van was supposed to give structure and comic relief but just felt awkward and stilted. Even the locations used in the film felt like a tick-list of required settings. Don't get me wrong, the fight scenes were very well done and the characters were well portrayed but I thought that it missed or misjudged every bullseye. It could have been so much more stylish, dark and slick but instead it was a mixed bag of nice ideas with no real cohesion.  It is a shame because I really felt that the opening scenes were well handled and that there was enough interest in the main characters to carry a good series of films.  Hanna has been compared to the 1994 film 'Leon' ( 10/10 for me ) but lumbered with its 12 certificate and the lack of any real development, it is not in the same league. Shame.

5 out of 10.
Cert 12A ( uk )
2011.
 

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey - Phil's Five Words for Films

The Hobbit  ( seen in 2d ) Part One of Peter Jackson's planned trilogy based on J.R.R Tolkien's book is beautiful and lavish but for me, the story and character development are a little stretched.  A young Bilbo Baggins ( Martin Freeman ) is coaxed in to helping Gandalf ( Ian McKellen ) and a small band of dwarfs take back their lost kingdom from a dragon.  That is pretty much all you need to know.  With a run-time of about 2hrs 45mins, there are several places in the film that felt and looked like padding. ( Dwarfs washing up, dwarfs singing folk songs, rock monster boxing and the awful scene containing cringeable Cockney Trolls could so easily have been left out or reduced as they added nothing other than 30 minutes extra footage ).  The detail in some scenes is really quite impressive, having been shot at 48 frames per second, but the erratic pacing and obvious transitions from one set-piece to another detracts from the already stretched storytelling.  'The Hobbit' looks fantastic and is a great set up for the next two ( money spinning ) films but whether the story and characters are strong enough to carry it that far remains to be seen.  In my opinion, two films or one epic would have been more than enough to continue the story and wrap it in to the original trilogy without all the fillers.  By the end of this film, we still haven't got to the dragon.  On being given a small sword for protection, Bilbo Baggins is told that ' it is not the lives you take, but the lives you spare ' and for me, Peter Jackson should have heeded these wise words.  It is not how many frames you shoot, but the frames you spare from the final edit.  Beautiful but a little baggy. Whether or not there is enough in the story to avoid the next film feeling as thin remains to be seen. An hour and 15minutes too long.

7 out of 10
Cert 12A ( uk )
2012.

Snow White and the Huntsman - Phil's Five Words for Films

Snow White and the Huntsman Another adaptation of a Grimm Brothers tale.  Despite some good performances and some well put-together action sequences, this film lacks any heart or soul and is merely a set up for a sequel in which Kristen Stewart  has to pout a lot and decide between two male suitors.  Good costumes, production values, special effects and set-pieces make it watchable but sadly, that is all there is.  The most meaningful moment in the film is between Snow White ( K.S ) and an angry troll ( impressive CGI ) and that is the films main problem.  There is no real chemistry on show between any of the main characters, nobody to really care about.  Even a poisoned apple fails to add emotion.  It is a mixed up bag of dark, Gothic fairytale, Joan of Arc heroism and Disney princess fantasy, never really sure where it wants to head.  Charlize Theron is nasty enough in her role as Ravenna, the evil Queen / Stepmother and Chris Hemsworth pulls his weight as the Huntsman but there's very little to work with.  The films weaker characters ( e.g the prince and the queen's brother ) and daft, revised story slow it down too much.  Kristen Stewart is her usual self and will bring a guaranteed audience to the film whilst the dwarfs ( British comedy actors CGI'd to fit the roles ) bring very little to the party.  The result is an average film that is confused, messy and feels every minute of it's over-long 2 hour run time.

5.5 out of 10
Cert 12A ( uk )
2012

The Raid - Phil's Five Words for Films

The Raid  ( Indonesian with subtitles ) Written and directed by Welshman Gareth Evans, this martial arts action film set in Jakarta, Indonesia is a breath-taking, non-stop, ludicrously gory romp of a movie.  The plot seems unimportant - an elite special forces group attempt to raid a fifteen storey apartment block, owned, populated and controlled by a local drugs lord and his low-life pals.  Once inside, their cover is blown and as the bullets fly, a small group are left to fight their way out.  Done. It is the beautifully choreographed and artfully directed fight scenes that really stand out in the film, each one more ridiculous and painful than the last.  The punches, kicks and snaps come thick and fast, leaving you feeling as breathless as if you had fought the bad guys yourself.  The pacing, sound and editing of the film are really well judged, giving every impact maximum effect. The lead role of Rama is played by the superb Iko Uwais and you should expect to hear more from him and everyone involved in this film in the near future.  There will probably be a sub-standard American remake too, as happens with any interesting or successful subtitled film.  The Raid may not be to everyone's taste but nobody could deny that it is a really well put together piece of genre film making.  A painful and wincing watching experience.  Brutal fun. Stunning.

8.5 out of 10.
Cert 18 ( uk )
2012. 101mins

Skyfall - Phil's Five Words for Films

Skyfall  You have to trust me on this, I am a huge Bond fan.  I have seen each and every Bond film several times over and have been to the cinema to see each film since the release of 'A View to a Kill' in 1985.  Even taking into account my love of the Toy Story, Star Wars, Bourne and  Harry Potter films, Bond is my movie franchise of choice.  So, I was very excited to hear all the honking praise for the release of Bond 23, in his 50th year as a screen legend.  Bring on the Bond.  It begins with a bang.  A hard drive has gone missing and security is compromised.  We are straight in to a furious chase over rooftops, fist fights on moving trains, amazing stunts and explosions.  The traditional, big opening ends on a great cliffhanger and the famous Bond theme kicks in, raising the hairs on the back of my neck.  And then Adele starts singing. Her song is a mish-mash of the expected, ticking the boxes, nodding in all the right directions but ultimately, a little flat and unexciting.  For me, the same applied to the remainder of Skyfall as a film.  Daniel Craig can undoubtedly be a great Bond and he has done a good job so far but I don't think he has had a decent film script to really get his teeth in to.  It feels as if someone, somewhere is uncomfortable with the things the franchise can offer since it's reboot in 2006. Do they stick with the tried and tested Bond formula or strike out in a new direction, continuing to rebuild a spy thriller for a new audience.  The balances don't feel right.  It feels like a film being pulled in too many directions at once.  The cars, the girls, the one-liners, the action is all still there but it feels airbrushed, sanitised, apologetic and desperate to not offend. Somehow grittier but cleaner. The gadgets have gone and so has the tongue-in-cheek joy of the earlier incarnations.  Javier Bardem plays a super-camp cyber-terrorist seeking to get revenge on 'M' for something in his past but the character lacks any real menace and comes across more like a deranged school bully with abandonment issues. Sam Mendes brings a touch of class to the look of the film and keeps the action trotting along nicely but the final stand-off was a disappointment.  There is a host of new characters to signal the change of direction and it depends what you want from your 007, but for me, a weak, vulnerable Bond with a backstory is just too touchy-feely and too many factors felt like box-ticking.  In trying to take influences from films like Bourne and TDKR, Bond doesn't look entirely happy in his own skin.  I could write and rant for ages but I won't.   Skyfall is a good film.  Is it the best Bond film ever?  No.  

7.5 out of 10.
12A ( uk )
2012.

Lawless - Phil's Five Words for Films

Lawless  Boasting a fantastic cast and directed by John Hillcoat ( The Road, The Proposition ), Lawless is a gangster bio-pic set during American Prohibition.  It tells the story of the Bondurant brothers who run an illicit trade in their own home-brew moonshine and export the product over county lines whilst exploiting local rumours that the head of their family, Forrest, appears to be indestructible.  These dealings bring the family in to conflict with other local gangs and law enforcement officers, with brutal consequences.  As events unfold,  Forrest's younger brother Jack decides to up the stakes.  With Tom Hardy, Shia LaBeouf, Guy Pearce, Gary Oldman, Jessica Chastain, and Mia Wasikowska all giving solid performances, it is surprising that the film doesn't manage to reach any dizzy heights.  With nearly every scene shot in tight close up, lacking background detail, the film looks intense but has very little depth to it and in places, the choice of soundtrack is baffling, both factors that reduce the enjoyment of the film.  The script, story and acting are all of a high standard but the characterisation, pacing and tone of the film seems a little off here and there.  Reportedly based on true events, Lawless is a solid, gangster folk tale that could have been so much more. It is the sort of film that may benefit from a second watch.

7.5 out of 10
Cert 18 (uk)
2012. 

Kill List - Phil's Five Words for Films

Kill List   If you don't have any questions at the beginning of this low budget, British 'horror' film, you certainly will by the end.  There are two well-judged performances by Neil Maskell and Michael Smiley as they star in the lead roles of Jay and Gal, ex-army friends who teeter on the edge of violence, masquerading as salesmen whilst providing a hit man service.   Kill List.  Sounds straight forward doesn't it?  Directed by Ben Wheatley, the dialogue is fast, furious and often witty whilst some of the scenes are extremely gruesome and tough to watch.  Kill List is billed as a horror but for the majority of the film it is just toe-curlingly tense and uncomfortable.  There are some great moments within the film ( the encounter between Jay, Gal and a god-squad in a hotel restaurant is a classic ) but on the whole, the film does just enough to keep you watching as it spirals towards it's annoying ending.   I'm not going to pretend that Kill List is a great film because it isn't, but it is a brave, unsettling, intriguing and frustrating piece of work that will have you wondering what you have just watched and whether you should have bothered.  It will spark conversation, It will divide people in to groups, those who love it and those who hate it.  I'm somewhere in the middle.  If you make it to the end, ask yourself this - why did she smile?  Thank You.
6 out of 10
Cert 18 ( uk)
2011.

The Dark Knight Rises - Phil's Five Words for Films

The Dark Knight Rises  Christopher Nolan's third Batman film has had a lot of hype and publicity recently and, coupled with the fact that the previous films had set the bar so high, there was always a chance that TDKR could struggle to wrap up the trilogy in an explosive and tidy fashion.  There is no denying that Nolan's final instalment is a good film that does everything asked of it but for me, some aspects are disappointing.  All the big moments in the film are either very predictable, hugely signposted or lack any real punch or development ( the return of Batman / Anarchy in Gotham / Alfred's dream / Bruce Wayne's prison re-birth / Detective Blake's story / Selina's story and Bane's back story all just played out with no real ka-pow ). Anne Hathaway does well as Selina but her character fails to truly develop.  Michael Caine ( Alfred ) tries to give the film some heart but only succeeds in standing out too much.  Bane's rasping voice is distracting, sounding like a badly amplified Darth Vadar impression.  The plot is the weakest of Nolan's three films but the production, effects and spectacle are the biggest.  The result is a huge, impressive, slightly messy and baggy  film that never really excels.  I sound like I didn't enjoy the film and that would be completely untrue - I was just not blown away by it.  TDKR is a good film that rounds off a great trilogy nicely but doesn't do it without a few problems and holes.  Better than ok.

7.5 out of 10
Cert 12A ( uk )
2012

Tyrannosaur - Phil's Five Words for films

Tyrannosaur Hard hitting in every sense of the words, Tyrannosaur is a brutal, British film that explores violence and rage and their effect on human relationships.  Peter Mullen, Olivia Colman and Eddie Marsan all act their socks off in this brilliant but disturbing debut film from director Paddy Considine.  Mullen plays Joseph, an angry, violent man caught up in a cycle of drinking, betting and fighting who suddenly finds himself in the company of Hannah ( Colman ), a charity shop worker with a strong faith and an abusive husband ( Marsan ).  Joseph and Hannah strike up an unlikely and needy friendship that always seems doomed to end in violence.   It's not a film for the faint-hearted, easily offended or sensitive dog lovers but the central performances are so good that even the scenes of extreme abuse and language are compelling viewing.  From the opening scenes, which see Joseph being ejected from a bookies, to the bleak Yorkshire setting, it feels like only a matter of time before the underlying tensions explode and the anger is released.  Make no mistake about it, Tyrannosaur is not an easy film to watch but it is powerful, brutal and strangely touching.

8.5 out of 10.

Cert 18 (uk).

2011.

The Awakening - Phil's Five Words for Films

The Awakening  Despite some solid performances and the type of backdrops you would expect from a BBC funded period drama, this British 1920's supernatural tale never really hits the mark.  Set at a time when millions of people had lost loved ones and were desperate to hold on to memories or contact the missing, Rebecca Hall plays Florence Cathcart, a Myth-busting investigator intent on exposing con artists claiming to be 'in touch' with the world of spirits.  Sent in to investigate a recent death at a Cumbrian boarding school and claims of ghostly sightings, Florence soon finds herself at the centre of the action. Along with Dominic West and Imelda Staunton, Hall does a credible job of drawing a little tension out of the storyline but the scares are few and far between and the plot twists are so ridiculous, leaving too many holes and unanswered questions.  There is a nicely handled 'Doll's House' device that worked well but on the whole, there are plenty of films in the same genre that have more to them.  If you want to see this film done better, then watch 'The Others', 'The Orphanage' or even 'The Woman in Black'.  Although not a bad film, there are too many holes, not enough atmosphere and ultimately it is relatively toothless and unsatisfying.

5.5 out of 10

Cert 15(uk)

2011.

The Guard - Phil's Five Words for Films

The Guard  Brendan Gleeson is at his superb, sweary best in this low-key cops 'n 'robbers, dark comedy set deep in the wild west of Ireland.  A group of international drug smugglers are trying to land a boat full of merchandise, right under the nose of the FBI and local police, most of whom have been paid off.  Can one stubborn, old school Irish copper stand in their way?  It is rare these days for a film to be given an 18 certificate (uk) largely for its use of language but here Gleeson crackles and spits out the witty dialogue and doesn't seem to care about putting a few noses out of joint.  It's all about the banter.  It is testament to the script and great central performances by Gleeson and Don Cheadle that such a basic idea reaches a satisfying ending and has us caring about the characters despite their obvious lack of likeability.  The final, wild west shoot-out is not taken too far as sometimes happens and the last scene leaves you with a smile on your face.  The stark setting and characters bristle with energy and the overall feel of the film is one of friendship and redemption.  Pleasing, gritty and full of dirty charm.

7.5 out of 10

18 cert (uk)

2011.

The Cabin in the Woods - Phil's Five Words for Films

The Cabin in the Woods  Five college friends head in to the woods for a drink and drugs weekend, blissfully unaware that their every move is being watched and that they fit perfectly in to the stereotypical 'horror film victim' niche understood by all fans.  As they discover one-way mirrors and a hidden basement full of torture implements it looks like the film can only be heading in one direction.  That is until someone pushes one red button and then all hell breaks loose.  Literally.  Enough said.  It's a B-movie of an idea, given plenty of money and TLC by people who obviously enjoy the genre.  Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard, who have been responsible for the likes of Buffy and Cloverfield, have created a good genre piece that manages to be both amusing and shocking whilst poking at the conventions of horror films.  Likeable characters and script are slightly let down by some average special effects and the film is neither as groundbreaking or clever as some seem to think it is.  A good opening premise is followed up by a good gory romp and the film is enjoyable from start to end.  Think 'Evil Dead meets Scooby-Doo' and you won't be far off.  Daft apocalyptic teen horror.

6.5 out of 10.

Cert 15 (uk).

2012.